I met him when I was sixteen. There was something about him but I didn’t quite know what which made me feel that feeling whose name I didn’t know. Was it those eyes flowing with kindness? Or that smile that conveyed “Everything is alright. I’m here.” He had a soft and reassuring presence and I wanted more of that.
It got very quickly to the stage where I could not take him out of my mind. I was surprised, “Why is my first thought of the day as I get off the bed about him? Who is he? Why does he seem so important to me?” But I did not search intensely for answers partly because I knew nobody could tell me and largely because I was enjoying whatever was happening to me. There was a spring in my step, even when things weren’t smooth, like during exams 🙂
Life had suddenly become beautiful because his eyes, his smile, his words and his silence had somehow conveyed that he knew. I had no idea what, but it was something I knew nobody else knew. Did he know what life is and why it is like it is? This made it all the more exciting because so far, I hadn’t seen anybody interested in finding out or in letting me find out. But if he really did know, he seemed in no great hurry to share this secret. I figured I was going to have to wait.
However, I could not stop wondering how he could make so many people so happy? And without doubt, he was having the same effect on me. What was he up to? What did he want? Because everybody wants something. I watched him over the years, from a distance and up close. If there is something he wants, it is to give, that’s where his joy lies. Making people smile is not that difficult – a little charm and wit will suffice. But keeping the smile on them even when they are going through adversity is a tougher gig to pull off. It means hours and hours of listening each time they are going through a breakdown; it means hand-holding them each time they cry out for help. It means being prepared to wait for years just to allow them to realize that all they have to do is smile.
If the measure of a person lies in what he shares, Sri Sri’s vastness is hard to put within boundaries. The mad rush of people forever running after him is only an outer reflection of his inner richness. It is a sign of what he has given to their lives that they so desperately want to thank him for, not knowing how. When everything that you can wish for is dwarfed by what you are being given anyway, what do you wish for?
If I had to ask for something, what would it be?
Comforts had their charm earlier but after meeting You,
I realized that the pain of love is the only comfort for lovers.
I thought all my desires had left me wiser
but my desire for You has only grown not sated.
I felt blessed for all that had been given to me until it dawned
that the greatest fortune is to be ruined in love.
I believed wealth, power and fame counted in this world
but they are just toys in this enchanting toy shop.
I was frightened by the thought of being separated from You
and now waiting for You is what keeps me alive.
I trod cautiously because I thought I had a good chance
but am unstoppable now that I have lost all hope.
I was afraid I would forget You for this world
and now everything in it reminds me of You.
I thought all I had to do was to stay in my senses
and here I am, unable to hide my madness anymore.
I remember the moment time stopped forever
when You turned and looked into my eyes
I knew life was made and all else was mere detail.