Expression can be flawed, not Love
During my childhood, I used to never like my father for many reasons. He was a perfectionist and would find faults in everything I did. He used to scold me a lot and I was always afraid of him.
We did not really get to spend much time with our father. By the time we used to wake up in the morning he would have gone to work and mostly we would be asleep before he would return home.
After my 5th std, my parents decided to settle in my native village and so we shifted everything from Chennai to my house in the village. It so happened that I could not get admission in the village school due to some issues with the certificate. So I had to return back with my father to Chennai and live with him for a few weeks. I was not so comfortable.
In the first few days, father tried to balance his work and taking caring of me which seemed very difficult. So he decided to drop me in my uncle’s house. I had a good time there for two weeks – movies, ice creams, playing with cousins etc. On a Sunday father came to see me and told my uncle that he will take me home for that evening and drop me back next evening. The moment we left their house my father held me closely and gave a tight hug.
This was the first time he had done something like this.. Something happened to me. He was moody in the bus and the moment we entered the house he broke down with tears and was crying like a child. He kept asking me , “what will you have. Horlicks? Milk? Shall I buy something for you?…” He was caring in all ways possible with tears in his eyes. I also cried for a long time. Oh Dad! Where was this Dad of mine all these days ? I gave him a big hug and did not want to leave him anymore in this life time.
Recently, I came to know how he had to carry me on a rainy day to the doctor in late night with tears in his eyes. He used to restrict himself to only drinking water whenever he was thirsty to save every penny for his kids.
I have only seen his expressions and flaws in them. In the process, I missed the heart that:
Did not save anything for himself but gave everything to his family
That worked this whole life for his family
That silently sacrificed everything for the comfort of his children
That silently cried in front of God and saved a brave face to show to his family
That never awaits any appreciation or favors or credits even now
Oh God never ever I should miss to see those hearts
that loved me and love me ….
A Silent Performer,
A Sincere and Dedicated Warrior
A Committed human being,
A Brave and Big Hearted Man,
A Disciplined Role Model (No Bad Habits)…..
Words are not enough to express my gratitude to him.